Understanding
by Naani17
Summary: Elissa Cousland, with the consciousness of one of us. Even so, it would be so difficult to recognise who she is , even if she couldn't recall who she was before. How an oracle character may fare against the Blight campaign, and whether events can truly be changed, without damaging the fate of others. Slight AU, and how we would react if we were submerged into the DA universe.


Have you ever truly been able to perfectly memorise something extraordinary? I don't mean be able to recall a happy memory, or something upsetting. Or even those with deep seated syndromes, where their worst scenario is relived in thier conciousness - over and over. Could you be placed in the ultimate form of solispism and be able to experience your recollection again - as if it were happenning at that moment?

If you were to be given a sitaution, as unbelievable as it was, that fufilled your wildest dreams but the price was an ultimate sacrifice - how could one go through with it?

Not death, no. That would be too simple.

But even so, explanations have gotten us no where. You see, she was placed in such a problem, but just as we can't perfectly recall our best and horrific memories, she couldn't fully comprehend what a reasonable explination for the circumstances.

Sometimes, our minds filter out information; it fades the recollection, so we can move on, so we are not binded to it. It is rare when we are so fixated, bound, and trapped by the feeling of being there that we loose our sense of reality.

Because when she woke, she was certain it was not her room. It had majestic wooden rafters, rich stone walls warmed by a single lantern with a small flame. It felt alien, and not hers. But, she couldn't remember entirely what was meant to be there - it was simply different. The entire room felt as if it were from an era far from her own, but she could not truthfully tell you what era she had in mind. To feel as if this room belonged to her, but not, was a strange experience.

It was at this moment, she understood that the mind numbs us against certain information, lest we be overloaded with uncensored concepts. Such as waking in a bed which was not your own.

She heard yelling, from the other side of the thick wooden door - an out of style, wealthy design. It reminded her of that which a castle would have. Leaning upon her elbows, she hefted her body to sit on the bed. She felt a pang of familiarity at the sound. She did not know whether the disgruntled sound was aimed at her, but she aimed to find out. With that thought, serving man burst into her chambers, trying to warn her of an impending danger. Armour on, twin daggers by her side, faithful hound - it all had the strangest sense of deja vou.

It all happened so quickly, she barely registered the motions she was carrying out. Like a well practised dance, her body seemed to move on its' own accord. A woman, her mother, she presumed, closed in on her, clad in armour, fretting over her wellbeing.

"Elissa?" The elder asked , bringing the young girl from her confused state.

It was her name, but not - at the same time.

Her name was far more modern, something which older children, young adults would call, reminding her to focus more on her studies than laugh with friends. But, she could not remember it. She felt as if she were an Elissa. She remebers _being_ an 'Elissa' at one point, but never so clearly.

"I don't..understand" The Elissa girl quipped, shifting her weight from foot to foot. Her mother must have interpreted Elissas' confusion at the events of Arl Howes' betrayal, rather than the existential crisis she was currently having. The older archer continued to show dismay at the situation, speaking a little more.

Elissa - for lack of a better word - did not belong here. Yet, here she was, standing in the halls she stood in only a month ago. But, not like this. As if, she was reading a story about these burning halls. Elissa knew what was to come, the flames overtaking her fathers' body, the abandonmet of Eleanor - her families' demise. The darkspawn, it seemed to fade with this information, an Orlesian dark haired warrior looking for her assistance, a powerful witch - it all made her a little woozy. There was too much to comprehend. Elissa stumbled a little, feeling as if a powerful dream was being forced upon her. All this knowledge, it filled her with despair - knowing she could not change the future.

It consumed her with fear, as this was not her timeline, she was not meant to be here, in Castle Cousland. And then, she understood. She was not Elissa Cousland, she was someone else, with little knowledge of what was about to transpire. Nothing more than someone elses' consciousness within Elissas' body. To her 'mother', Elissa seemed normal, but inside, there was turmoil she couldn't even begin to comprehend.

She was an outsider in this world. But she was here now, and she knew what is about to occur. So she ran with her mother towards the one man she thought she could save from this ghastly dream.

The crackling of burning tapestries, the cindering of flesh of fallen traitors and guards. She ran past it all, if she was right, and she had indeed completed this sequence once, then she can stop the same events, right?

She remembered thinking that a while ago, so enraptured with the sense of repetition that she was not able to undo what had happened in her dreams, and now - what had happened in her reality. She tried to explain to Duncan, that she felt as if she wasn't realy here, that she was realy someone else. He merely explained that grief affects us deeply, and can turn us into different people. She knew it would be difficult to explain, or even to be understood. She didn't entirely understand it either.

Trudging through a well-worn forrest path, she continued to try and make sense of the situation, until she finally stopped her walking. Her tutor noticed, slowing to a halt, and turning to face her, questioning. A small bout of silence met the pair, only peirced by the distant tweeting of spring birds, and local wildlife.

"I know this sounds crazy, I'm not sure myself Duncan, but-" Elissa wrung her fingers between her hands, eyes cast down- plotting every word carefully at the bet of coming off as a fool.

"-I don't believe I am rightly myself, or if I am me at all."

He looked her up and down, checking for any signs of illness or injury, concerned that either stress or faituge had finally caught up to her. But there she stood, graceful, with fine armour and a well cared for face: a noblewoman, shieldmaiden and sucessor to a wealthy family. If a little pale, Duncan assured himself that she was fine. He smiled, trying to supply her with a little comfort, knowing loss well.

"My dear, " He began, relaxing his posture. "I understand how much adjustment you are undergoing. I understand that is also difficult." She raised her head at this, looking at him with some hope that he _did _understand.

"But, you have been chosen because you are one of the few which can defeat this Blight with us. " How he hoped that those consoling words would reach her, and by the look of sudden realisation, he felt as if his few mutterings gave her exactly what she needed to hear. Suprising, as he felt as if he had not yet even mentioned what he intended to be comforting.

_You have been chosen_. Elissa could not stop remembering those words. Above all she was confused on: who she realy was, where she came from, or why this all felt familiar - she felt at peace, even if Duncan meant those words accidentally.

Her mind let her understand that one concept: She was meant to be here, _chosen_. Against all else that her mind did not allow her to recognise, it allowed her that. Even if this all seemed familiar, she felt calm.


End file.
